Yes dear
by Maddyliza1234
Summary: Jack and Kim are married with a 9 month old son named Sam, the problem? Kim's sister, tiana and her husband, Jerry are living in their guest house with their sons, Dominic and and logan. This drives jack crazy! Read all about this families antics! Based on the show yes, dear! Please read and review
1. Chapter 1

Note: this is based off of the show yes dear. I will have my own lines, but it will be based off of the episode. Jack and kim are married and have 1 son named sam, (sammy) who is 7 motnhs old. Jerry is jacks brother in law and him, Kim's sister, tiana (dove Cameron) and their 2 sons, dominic and logan, are living in their guest house, which Kim loves and is driving jack crazy. Read about this family's antics.

When the girls get out

I wont do a normal intro like I normally do)

Kim's pov

"please, Sammy" I say to jacks and my 9 month old son, Sammy. Right now, I'm othe kitchen trying to feed Sammy who is in his high chair. He just looks around the kitchen. "please, eat it" I say, whining a bit. I begin to mix it around in his bowl with his baby spoon. "mommy spent all day making it. It's organic squash, Orca and wheat germ" I sia, happily. I stir it around again. "which remember is the only good germ " I say, looking Sammy in the eyes. "look mommy likes it" I say, showi him the spoon. I try it. Its disgusting! I spit it into a plastic purple cup that's sitting on the table. "I'm sorry. I can't the taste out of my!" I say, rubbing my tongue onto a towel I keep near Sammy's high chair for when he makes messes. Jack then walks rough the kitchen door with a bgw of Gracie's. He groans as he sets it down on the floor. He walks over to Sammy and I. "hey, goose" he says, kissing my cheek. He then walks over to Sammy. "hey, buddy. He says kissing Sammy's head. He then walks into the kitchen with the groceries. "hey, next time you want me to pick up diapers and Vasalean (sorry I spelt that wrong), remind me not to buy beer. I think the cashier wrote down my license plate" jack says, taking the beer that he bought out of the brown paper grocery bags. I look at Sammy and shake my

head. "hes not eating" I say, getting up off of my chair. "well, maybe he's not hungry" jack suggested, putting the beer in the fridge. "no, it's 6:00. He's supposed to be hungry" I say, walking over to the kitchen and checking on dinner. "honey. Didn't the doctor say that he's in the 90th percentile for weight?" jack asked me, as I stirred dinner. "so?" I asked him. "so, he's 10% away from being the fastest child on earth" jack commented. I looked up at jack, shocked. I smiled my "you're lucky" smile. "I just want him to healthy!" I sys, sighing and walking back over to Sammy with jack following me. "he's healthy. He's just not hungry" jack says, looking at Sammy, who is chewing on his yellow gabby spoon. "or eating when to worry" I sat, handing jack a big, liv blue book. "you know what, I'll read this after dinner. I promise" jack says, setting the book down on the table.

"oh, oh, about dinner my sister just called" I said, walking over to the kitchen counter, with jack following me. "Kim I told you if we fed them, they would keep coming back" jack says. I look at jack and smile. "she's my sister" I say walking, back over to Sammy. "well, shes not the problem" jack says, following me back over to Sammy. "oh come on! Jerry likes you!" I say, setting the table. "of course he likes me. I give him moeny to come out here. I set him out in an apartment. My god! I'm his sugar daddy!" jack says, as I fold sammys clothes on our kitchen table. I look at him. "jack, you are the 1 that wanted to move 3,000 miles away from home and at least now we have some family around. Don't you want Sam to grow up around family?" I say, folding one of Sammy's onesies. "yes, I do" jack says, shouting. He then wraps me into a hug and kisses me. "but does it have to be your family?" jack asks, whining. I playfully hit him.

"oh we had a milestone in mommy nd me class today" I say, walking out of the kitchen. "he walked?! Sam, you're a walker like your father and your father's father" jack said, happily. Sammy just looked at him and played with his spoon that he was stirring around in his bowl. I walked back into the kitchen. "he didn't walk, but Julie krupnicks disgusted did. Now Sam is the only one not walking" I said, setting down a container of green baby food on the table. "well, he's probably weak from not eating" jack said. I put hands on my hips and just glared at him. "kidding, he'll walk when he's ready" jack said, laughing.

Then the doorbell rang. "or walking: when to worry" I said, handing jack another book and walking over to the front door. "you have a copy of worrying when to worry?" jack asked me. I glared back at him as I walked towards the front door.

Jacks pov

I sat down across form Sam and flipped the book that Kim handed me. "come on, Sam! Your old and had a hard day at work! So why don't you save him a little reading adn take a bite. daddy likes it" I said, picking up the spoon and taking a bite of his dinner. It's disgusting! I feel like I'm going to be sick! I then take a sip of juice from purple cup that's sitting on the table. I wipe my tougher on a towel sitting near SAMs high chair. I then look at Kim then back at Sam. "what the heck is she doing to you?!" I asked Sam.

Kims pov

I open the front door and my sister, tiana walks in holding her youngest son, Logan who is theier youngest son, who is 9 months old. "hi!" I greet tiana. "hello" says greets me. I kiss her cheek. She walks into the house with dominic, who's 4 almost 5, following behind her. "where's Jerry?" I asked her. "he had a little trouble parking. He's exchanging insurance information with your neighbor" she explained to me. I gave her a shocked look. "he hit his car?" I asked her, as I shut the door. "cat. It's gonna be fine" she answered me. I shook my head with a weird look. that's Jerry for you. "dominic!" I sang, running over to my nephew. "did you see all the stuff auntie Kim got for you?" I said in a baby voice, leading him over to the couch and helping him up onto it. I sat down on the couch next to him. "I went to the store and I got books and crayons and puppets. You can play with whatever you want!" I say happily to Dominic, still in my baby voice. Dominic gets up off of the couch and grabs the tv remote from underneath the pile of books on the coffee table! He climbs back onto the couch and turns on the tv. I get up off of the couch and walk over to tiana, who is still holding Logan in her arms. "tiana, look at him! He could sit in front of the tv all day and never say a word" I say sadly. Tiana and I look at Dominic, who is watching tv. "I know. Isn't it great?!" tiana says, happily.

Jack walks by us in the kitchen. "hey guys!" he greets us. "hi!" tiana says. "oh come on. I made some food for the kids. I thought we should feed them before we eat" I said, pointing to the kitchen. "oh, well, we can try, but lately Logan won't eat anything but Macdonalds" Christine explained. "nothing but McDonald's?!" I asked her, shocked. She spins Logan around upside down in her arms. "yeah. He likes the burgers at burger king, but doesn't like the fries, which means he's not getting his vegetables" she says, walking into the kitchen. I give her a disgusted look. We walk into the kitchen.

Jacks pov

I walk into the living room, flipping through Kim's books. "hey Dominic, whatcha watching?" I say sitting down on the couch next to my nephew. He just sits there like a lump, staring at that tv! "alrighty then" I say after a few minutes of silence. The door then opens and Kerry runs into the house. "hey! Did you know you live next door to a Jewish guy?" he asks me, closing the door. I groan. "oh god!" I groan again, getting up off of the couch. "you didn't talk to my neighbors, did you?" I asked him. "No, I had to I kind of backed into his cat" he said, like it was perfectly normal to back into someone's cat! "you killed Aleebawitzs (not a real last name!) cat?" I asked him, shocked. "I'm trying to make a larger point. Kay, effnic (sorry I spelt that wrong!) diversity is what I love about Los Angela's. Jewish people, black people, Mexicans! Like 12 different kinds of Asians. You're never gonna know whose cat youre gonna run over" Jerry explained. "if only you could have been here during the orience (don't know if that's right. Sorry!) to calm everything down" I said, sitting back down on the couch next to Dominic to read e parenting book that Kim gave me. Jerry sits down on the arm of the chair.

"watcha reading?" he asks me, pointing to me book. "oh just some child development books" I say concentrating on my reading. "why?" Jerry aks me. "SAMs not eating" I tell Kerry. "well, he'll eat when he's hungry" he tells me. "well it's not that simple, Jerry. He's not walking yet either" I explain to Jerry. "you don't really think there's something wrong with him do you?" Jerry asks me, getting up and moving Dominic to the reclining chair next to the couch so he can sit down next to me. "no" I say, plainly. "well, then, count your blessings 'cause trust me, once they start walking you have to get up off the couch and go after them" he advises me. "Kim just wants to cover all the bases" I explain to him. "oh I see" Jerry observes. "what?" I ask him. "oh no nothing. You better do your homework. I wouldnt want to getcha in trouble" Jerry says, like a woman. "you know, I love guys like you. You take anybody who does anything for their wife's and whip becuase you do about sly nothing" I snap. "you're probably right" Jerry agrees with me. "of course I'm right!" I snap back. "dang on right I am! I mean you don't clean, you don't help with the kids. You only do what you want to do. Live your life likea 20 year old single guy without any responsibilities. I don't know how you get away with it" I complain. I then look at him. "how do you get away with it?" I asked him, curiously. He looks at me. "a little something I like to call honesty. You should give it a try. Yeah for our first date, tiana and I watched football in my parents basement and did beer bongs" he said, making me laugh a bit. "yeah she knew from day 1 what kind of guy she was getting" he said, smiling. "what did you and Kim do on your first date?" he asked me. "I dont know" I started. "whatcha do?" he asked me. I sighed. "I took her to a make your own pottery place" I confessed. Jerry shook his head. "you dug your own grave, buddy" he said. He took the parenting book from me. "you know what, I think-I think it's hard being a mother. Especially for someone like your wife, who's who's not that very good at it" he says getting up and standing by the chair that Dominic is sitting in. I get up off of the couch. "hey, hey, hey wait a minute! Kim opens to be a great mother. How many mothers could make their own baby soap or get up every hour to make sure their child's still breathing or send their husband back to the store 3 times to get right kind of slow flow nipple?" I defended Kim. "she's driving you crazy, huh?" Jerry asked me."a little" I confessed. "yeah" Jerry sighed. "if you want her to mellow out, why don't you just give her a day off. You know, to take the kids for the day and let her do whatever she wants" Jerry advises me. "what are you saying? Like one day off and she's going to be ok?" I ask him. "they're never ok?" he says, sitting on the couch while I'm standing, shaking his head. "ok, ok, we can't make them ok. You just try to put a little slack in her rope. You know what you should do? Send her to one of those fancy day spas" he advises me. "really, you think it'll work?" I ask him, sitting back down on the couch. "defiantly. Now you know she's comfortable going places by herself, right? You know, shell all alone naked, with a bunch of strangers.." Jerry starts, but I cut him off. "oh, well, jeez, I don't know. You think tiana would go with her?" I asked Jerry. "oh, I don't know. We really csnt afford.." I cut him off again. "no, no no. It would be on me. Believe me, she would be doing me the favor" I told him. "oh. I mean, well, I'll ask her" Jerry says, getting up off of the couch and running into the kitchen. "yo, tianna. You know that fancy spa you been dieing to go to?" he asked tiana walking farther into the kitchen. I just shook my head. You see, he likes me for my money! (btw jack works at a movie studio and makes a good amount of money.)

"and at 12:30 he goes down for his..." Kim starts. Kim and tiana are going to spa today! Finally maybe she won't drive me so nuts now! "nap" I finish. "good and after his nap he likes to have a.." she starts. I smile. "hooker" I finish, smiling. She looks at me scared, while glaring at me. "a snack, I know, I know" I said, laughing a Bit. "if you have any questions or just want to check in, don't hesitate to call. Here's the number for the spa, a few places in the area we might have lunch and my cell phone number, just in case you forget" she said, smiling nervously.

Jerry s pov

"Jerry, honey, if you call me in the next 6 hours and the kids are still breathing, I'll kill you" tiana warns me. Sheesh! She really wants her spa day with Kim! I get up off of the couch. "yeah, yeah, quick question, when those big, young, massagers got their hands all over you, what are you going to be thinkin. About?" I asked her. She wraps her arms around me and we sway back and forth. "George Clooney" she says, smiling. "uh, iddint see George Clooney on our bedroom last night" I tell her. "well, that's because you couldn't see the tv from your angle" she says, smiling. She pecks my lips.

Jacks pov

"let's go!" tiana says, walking by Kim, Sam and I. "have a good time" I say, smiling. She kisses me then Sam. She walks out the front door and I close it behind her. "whew! Well, this should be a good time, huh?" I say, happily. I walk over to the couch where Jerry and Dominic are sitting. "you see that, dominic? That's the cobra clutch and you do it like this" Jerry says, putting his arm into Dominic's arm pit, tickling him a bit. "cut it out! Stop it!" Dominic says laughing. "now you see that, immediate submission. That's how mommy got daddy to marry her" he says, taking his arm out of Dominic's arm pit and wrapping back around Dominic's back.

"Jerry, the park?" I ask him, bouncing Sam in my arms. "alright, come on, but listen if we really wanna go to the park, we gotta drop off Dominic at his friends house" Jerry says, getting up off of the couch with Dominic underneath his arm, facing the ground. "he doesn't like the park?" I ask Jerry. "no he likes it. It's just if you don't have the tv to distract him, he gets a little antisocial around the kids" Jerry explains to me. "antisoical?" I ask him. "yeah he bites, yo" Jerry tells me. I then hurry away form Dominic and Jerry with Sam in my arms. I don't want Dominic to bite him!

We ended up dropping Dominic off at some Random kids house to watch tv. I don't even think Jerry knew the kid let alone the people!

Jerrys pov

"oh, ahh yeah!" i moaned, as i used Logan and Logan's shovel that was in Logan's hand to scratch my back back. "yeah, right there" i moaned again. I looked over at a kid next to us who was playing with a rake in the sand. "hey, buddy, you wanna come over here with that rake?" I asked the boy. His mother grabbed his hand and walked off with him. "I'm teaching him to play with others!" I told the woman, as she and her son walked off. Jack then walked back over to Logan and I with Sa. In his arms. "ah, this is great. Sammy loved the swing, the slide the jungle gym.." jack started as he set Sammy down on the sand. "come on, let's get outta here" I told him. "what? no, we told Kim we'd be at the park" jack told me. "yeah, we did the park. The park is done" I told him, as I packed up Logan's toys. "Sammy likes it here" jack said, happily. "he can't even walk! He doesn't care where the heck he is!" I said, laughing. Jack doesn't listen to me. "how about we go on the swings again, huh, sam?" jack asks Sam, as he reaches to pick him up. "look, man would you quit pretending like you're having fun?" I ask him, as I get up and pick up Logan off of the ground. "your wife isn't here. It's too hot anyways" I explained to jack. Jack then stands up. "it is kind of hot" he said, putting on his back pack. "I know! Even the euqrainian (sorry I spelt that wrong!) kids are getting out of the sand box!" I point out, as jack and I look at the sand box. "they probably just found the diaper you buried" jack pointed out. "look, shouldn't we be good fathers and take these guys to somewhere that's cool?" I ask jack. "like where?" jack asks me. "I know the perfect place. Ok. It's air conditioned, there's food, there's games, ot of bright colors to stimulate their minds..." I rambled. "you mean like a chuckee cheese?" jack asked me. "yeah!" I say happily. "all right" jack caves in, as he picks up Sam off of the ground. "something like that" I added.

Jacks pov

"black Jack!" Jerry shouts, sitting at a poker table. Yes, we are at a casino. No, I'm not playing with him. I'm standing near by holding Logan and Sam. Why did I let him talk me into this?!

Jerry's pov

"hey, I think it's great the government lets you Indians operate these casinos without paying any taxes" I say to the dealer. "it's the least they can do after stealing all that land from ya, huh?" I say to the dealer. Right now, I'm playing poker. I have no idea where jack, Logan and Sam are. "I'm mexican" the poker dealer states. "really? Ha, that's a riot. I think we took some stuff from you guys, too" I say, nodding my head. Jack walks out of the men's room with Sam and Logan in his arms. He groans. "ugh! there we're no changing tables in the men's room. Lucky for us, no one was palying pike ow (I just took this from the show. I don't know what this is or if i got it eight in both soellign snd the right word! oh and I don't own both shows!) I don't pay attention to jack. "hit me!" I tell the dealer. "come on, man. Let's get out of here" jack tells me. "I'm on a roll!" I complain. "I said we were going to an Indian meusuem" he told me, as he handed Sam and Logan plastic buckets to play with. "what do you think that is over there?" I say, pointing to something in the far distance. "its a gift shop. They sell dice with tomahawks on them" jack explains to me. "all right. The kids are having fun. Why don't you sit down and play a little black jack with me?" I presaude. "all right, but we're leaving as soon as I loose this" jack caves in. "all right. Fine fine" I tell him. He pushes all of his poker chips toward the dealer. "here" he tells the dealer. "wait, you're betting it all?" I ask jack. "Im a wild man!" jack says, as he sits down."ok, you got 19 and he is showing 7. You're good" I tell jack. He silently cheers. "hit me!" jack says happily. "what?!" I ask him. "sir you have 19" the dealer tells jack. "I know! Hit me!" jack says, starting to sound greedy. ah, man. I can't believe you just.." I started. "21" the dealer spoke. "wow figures the one time I'm trying to lose. hey, can I play again?" he ranted a bit. "no" the dealer tells jack. "16" the dealer tells me. "aw am, I know where this is going" I complain. "hit me" I tell the dealer. "bust" the dealer tells me. "course i busted! You took my 2!" I complain to jack. "I can't believe you're just playing until you lose man. You used to be fun. What happened to you?" I rant to jack. "I swear I never had fun around you" he told me. "you were fun at your bachelor party" I told him. "I passed out at my bachelor party" he told me. "yeah, but, we did a lot of fun things with ya" I confessed to jack. He stares at me, shocked. "black jack" the dealer tells jack. "oh come on! You didn't even give me a chance to lose that time!" jack complains to the dealer. "19" the dealer tells me. "I'll stay" I reply. "20" the dealer tells me. "you know, this is all because you took that 2! You know what, why don't you bet it all again so you can back home?!" I yell. "hey, hey, slow down. Let's play a little smarter this time" jack said, pushing his chips towards the dealer.

No ones pov

They were too busy playing black jack and Sam decided to take his very first steps.

Jacks pov

"black jack" the dealer told me. "woo hoo!" I cheered, standing up and pumping my fists in the air. "pay attention, Sammy! You don't want to miss this! I shouted to Sam, who just looked at me.

Kims POV

"it feels so weird spending the day getting massages while the men take care of the kid" I tell tiana as we are at the spa, getting massages. "mm" she says. "what do you think would say if she say us right now?" I asked tiana. "oh, same thing she said all through high school" she said, then paused to change her voice to sound more like our mom. "tiana, put your underwear back on" tinAna imitates, making us both laugh. I then realize what she meant and look over at her. "you're not wearing any under wear?" I ask her. She snorts. "of course not. You're not suppose to" she confesses. We lay on the massage beds in silence for a few minutes. "well, I'm keeping mine on!" I finally confess. "whatever" she scoffs. we lay in silence for a few more seconds "are they going to think I'm strange for keeping it on?" I asked my older sister. "who cares?" she tells me. "well, I'm not going to be able to relex if the guy that's rubbing me thinks I'm strange" I spoke. "it's ok to take them off" she advises me. "well, there's no where I'm going to be relaxed if I'm lying here naked!" I tell tiana. "ok, so basically at this point, there's no way you can enjoy this massage?" she asks me. We lay in silence again as I think for a few seconds. "I don't think so, bu you enjoy yourself. I'm just going to wait outside" I tell her, as I get up off of the massage bed and walk towards the door. "how long do these things usually take?" I ask tiana. "about an hour. Why?" she says to me. "I just though, I don't know, I'd see how the toys are doing at the park" I confess to tiana, walking around the room, nervously. she starts get up off of her massage bed. "oh, I knew it! I knew you couldnt leave him all day!" she confesses. "well is that so wrong? Worrying about leaving my son?!" I say, crying a bit. "you left him with his father k, who's a very responsible and intelligent man, which is a lot more then I can say for my husband and I leave my kids with him" she tells me, trying to cheer me up. "yeah, I wanted to ask you. How do you that?" I ask her. "because I know that at the end of the day, theyre gonna be fine. I also know that they're gonna grow to be a lot more self sufficient and independent if there mother isn't hovering over them all the time" she explains to me. "I don't hover!" I defend. "remember those bunnies we got for easter that year? You didn't put yours down for a whole month. You took it to school with you. you petted until it had that bald spot on its head" she told mem as she sat ack down on the massage bed. "and you smelled, Kim. You smelled" she confessed to me. I sighed. "yeah, well your bunny ran away!" I confessed to her. "because he felt secure and independent enough to make it on its own" she confessed to me. I smiled and sighed. "do you think I'm a mother?" I asked tiana, as I sat back down on the massage bed. "honey, I think if you relaxed a littlel you'd be a better mother" she told me. She got up of her massage bed. "and you know a good way to relax?" she asked me. I sighed nodding my head. I got up off of the massgae bed "get a massage!" I said, smiling. "that a girl!" she praised me. We both smiled and got back on our massage beds. We both sighed. "now give me your bra" tiana told me, putting her hand out. "no problem!" I say, taking off my bra and handing it to her. "good!" she praised me. "now take off you-" she started, but I cut her off. "not a chance" I told her. She smiled.

Jacks pov

"I shouldnt hit the 12, but I did, but I did, but I did!" I sang to Jerry. "and I thank you!" I sang to jerry. "come on youre embarrassing me!" Jerry confessed to me. "busted" the dealer told Jerry. "damn!" jerry swore, putting his head in his hands. "aw, don't be mad pumpkin. Here go by yourself something pretty" I told Jerry, chucking a poker chip at him. I smiled like an idiot. "black jack" the dealer told me. "yes!" we both cheer. "alright!" I cheered. "oh my god! Oh my god!" I said, as I looked over at Sam who was taking his very first steps! (or so he thinks!) "Sammy's walking! He's walking! Quick! Give me the camera!" I ramble as I get off of my chair and grab the camera that Jerry and I brought with us. "see? I told you there was nothing wrong with him!" Jerry told me, pouting at Sam as he walked throughout the casino. "ho ho oh! He's really doing it! Way to go, Sammy! This is incredible! Wait 'til mommy sees you walking!" I said happily, then I realized. "Crap! I can't show her this!" I exclaimed. "whatcha talking' about?" Jerry asked me. "well, we're supposed to be at the park and were here in the casino. I mean there's bells going off. There's cocktail waitresses walking by!" I exclaimed. "oh, grab her, will ya?" Jerry asked mem looking at a cocktail waitress. "this is horrible! What am I supposed to do?!" I asked Jerry. "stop filming!" Jerry told me. "I can't!" I giggled. "this is his first steps! It is so beautiful" I said, smiling. I then looked at Jerry, angry. "damn you! I exclaimed. "what's the big deal? We'll just take him to the park and you can film him walking aprons there!" he explained to me. "Jerry, I can't do that! My wife's probably gonna see this tape 10,000 times and every time she watches it, I'll know I lied to her" I rambled to Jerry. "well, now, you're just inventing problems" Jerry told me, shaking his head. "this is all your fault! Because of you, my wife is not going to be able to see her son's first steps! I knew nothing good was gonna come of this! You are will!" I exclaimed, packing the camera, getting my jacket and picking up Sam. "you are evil! That's right! This whole damn place is evil!" I exclaimed. "thank you" I said to the dealer, pickin up my chips that I had won. I en walked out of the casino wi Sam in my arms.

Tiem skip

Jacks pov

Im now pacing around the house. Jerry walks through the front door. "where we're you?" I asked him, as he closed the door behind him. "I went upstairs and put the kids down for a nap. I come back and you're gone!" I told Jerry. "look, I felt bad for the casino and Sammy walking, so I got you a little something to make up for it" Jerry told me, hooligan a fast food bag from Arby's and a DVD. "cheese burgers?" I asked him, picking up the Arby's bag. "ah, ah, those are mine!" he told me, taking them bag from me and setting it back down ont he coffee table. "this" he told me, handing me the DVD. "what is it?" iasekd him "a guy at my poker game does special effects or movies. So he changed the whole background on your DVD. So now it looks like Sammy's walking in a park" he explained to me, handing me the DVD. "come on! That is still lying!" I told him, handing him back the DVD. "what? Is it? I men, if you point at the tv and you say, look honey, you're son's first steps. Aren't you telling the truth?" he asked me. "it's crazy!" I shrugged. "alright, alright! Do whatever you want with it. "just at least take a look at it" he told me, putting the DVD into our DVD player as I sat on the couch and turned on the tv. "I saw a little bit of it" he confessed. "it's pretty great!" he confessed. I pressed play on the tv remote. Jerry sat down the couch next to me to watch the DVD with me. Sure, enough, it was a video of am walking in a green screened park. "oh my god! This is amazing!" I exclaimed, happily. "I know! The guys a genius!" jerry said, happily. "it looks totally realistic!" I said, smiling. "yeah, uh, listen, I had to slip the guy a few bucks I'm wondering if-" he started, but I cut him off. "whatever you need, I got it. don't worry!" I told jerry.

Just then, Kim and tiana walked through the front door of the house. "heyyy!" I say, turning off the tv. "hey, youre home!" Jerry said, getting up off of the couch. I got up off of the couch as well. "how was it?" I asked Kim. "unbelievable! Thank you so much!" Kim thankEd me. We then shared a passionate kiss. We then walked over to the couch. "so Kim, aren't you going to ask about your son?" I asked my wife, who just sat down on the couch. "oh, I'm sure he's fine!" Kim said, lying back on the couch. "you're welcome!" Jerry told me. "where wre the kids?" tiana asked me. "oh, Logan and Sammy are upstairs napping" I told tiana. "where's Dominic?" she asked Jerry. "uhhhh..." Jerry stuttered, realizing we left Dominic at that random house. She glared at him. "Charlie's house" Jerry finally told her.

"whatcha guys watching?" tiana asked me. "something that I think Kim is really goNina wanna see!" I saidm smiling, "what is it?" Kim said, giggling. I pressed play on the DVD remote to show the girls the DVD of SAMs first steps. She sits right up on the couch! "oh my god! " she said, shocked. I wrapped my arm around her. "your son's very first steps" I told her. I then kissed her cheek. "look at him!" she cried, happily. "he's walking!" she cried again. "he's really doing it!" she cried again. "he's amazing!" I told her, smiling. "oh ho! That is so sweet!" tiana said, happily. "where is that park? It's beautiful" tiana asked. "ah, it's way the heck out there" Jerry answered her, covering my lie. Tiana looked at him and just smiled.

"look at him! He's a natural!" Kim gushed. The video now showed Sam starting to walk on water. Were busted, I thought. The 4 of us just stared at the video, shocked. I looked at jerry and smiled my "you idiot" smile. "I told you he's amazing!" I exclaimed, trying to cover up our lie. "yeah, so, uh, I think we should get outta here. What do you think?" Jerry suggested, getting up and grabbing tianas hand, who wouldn't get up. "jack!" Kim exclaimed, standing up. "alright look! It was hot at the park. So we took him to an Indian casino and he walked. Sam walked. Sam walked and it was beautiful and I wanted you to see it without the casino. So I got him to pay a guy. How much?" I rambled on. "$200.00" Jerry confessed. "$200.00?! This is what he comes up with?! I mean, the kids obviously walking on water. Do you see that?! You can't trust any body anymore! Don't worry, honey. I'm going to get that money back" I rambled on to Kim and Jerry. "you took my son to a casino?! Tiana, did you hear is?! They took them to a casino!" Kim freaked out. Tiana got up off of her chair. "just, try not to over react. We don't know the whole story" tiana said. "did you win?" she asked Jerry. "no" he confessed. "you idiot!" she said, smacking Kerry on the head. "I won $316.00" I told Kim, thinkin it would make everything ok. I'm shook her head. "this is all my fault! I knew this was a bad idea and I didn't trust my instincts! Obviously, I can never leave you alone tin Sam again!" Kim exclaimed, walking up the stairs. "oh come on, kim! You can leave me alone with him! You just can't leave me alone with him!" I exclaimed, the last him refereeing to Jerry. Tiana walked up the stairs. "way to go, guys. She was jaut starting to relax!" tiana told us. "did you hear that?! She's never gonna let spend another day alone with my kid!" I complained to Jerry. He chuckled. "you're welcome!" he said, happily he drives me nuts!

"look at him!" I say to Kim, happily. It's now night time and we are sitting in the living room with Sam, watching him walk. "I know!" she replys. "I can't believe he's doing it! I guess I was worried about nothing" Kim confessed. "that's what I'm saying. We need to just take things as they come. Stop driving ourselves crazy worrying about every little problem" I told her. "you're right" Kim said, smiling we watched as Sam walked around the living room. Kim then looks at his feet. "does he look pigeon toed to you?" Kim asked me. "no. All kids walk like that at first" I reply. Kim and I just smiled. "are you sure?" Kim asked me. "I'll get the books" I said, getting up from the floor.

Done! This is a dialogue story! Please read and reveiw! Hope you like it! Oh and it's rated t!

Love you all!


	2. Weaning isn't everything

Note: some of the chapters of this story are rated m. Such as this one!

Jacks pov

Jerry and I are currently watching football. Kim walks into the living room holding Sam. "jack, would you mind changing Sam? IM just putting away the groceries" she told me. "no problem, honey" I told her, taking Sam from her. "are the diapers upstairs or in the diaper bag?" I asked Kim. "uh, upstairs under the changing table" Kim told me, as she started walking into the kitchen. "should I use that cream or is that jaut at night?" I asked her. "yes, use the cream" she said, starting to run into the kitchen again. "the white cream or the jelly stuff?" I asked her. "you know what, just give him to me" Kim told me, taking Sam form me. "you sure? 'cause I'll do it" I told her. "it's ok. I got it" Kim told me, walking up the stairs with Sam in her arms. I watched as she went upstairs with Sam in her arms. "you were right!" I cheered to Jerry, once she was out of ear shot. I then sat back down on the couch next to Jerry and at a piece of popcorn that was in the bowl next to me. "let me tell you. Works everything time" Jerry told me, smirking evily. Just then tiana walked into the room with Logan in her arms and Dominic following closely behind her. "jerry, I'm trying to feed Dominic in here. Would you mind taking Logan for a walk?" she explains to Jerry, handing Logan to him. "oh, I would love to!" he replied, happily. He then tapped my shoulder with his hand, which meant watch this. "hey, honey, is the stroller in the car or in the garage?" she asked hi, as she walked into the kitchen. "it's going to be wrapped around your neck if you start with that question crap again" tiana threatened Jerry, as she walked into the kitchen. He nodded. "of course it doesn't work as well with the 2nd kid" he said, pointing to Logan. I smiled and nodded, while I chewed on my popcorn.

Kim's pov

"they're really cute at this age, aren't they?" I said, smiling as tiana and I were sitting o bench at the park, watching Dominic, logs and Sam play. "yeah, except for mines pouring sand down his pants" tiana observes. We both watch as comic pours sand down his pants and the boy next to him pants too. "or that other kids pants" tiana adds. "Dominic, leave him alone" tiana scolds Dominic. "that's ok. He's mine" the woman next to us, says to tiana and I. "I don't mind the sand. It kind of works like cat littler" she explains to us, which makes me laugh.

"heyyy!" jack says walking over to us with Jerry, who he was jaut playing basket ball with. "hey, baby!" Jerry, who is holding a basket ball, says to Tiana. jerry kisses tiana and jack kisses me. "how'd you guys do?" I asked the guys. "we lost, but those guys must play ball in school. They were amazing!" jack explains. "yeah and rough! You know, im a big guy, but i brusie like a banana!" Jerry adds. "they did play a little dirty" jack adds as well, taking a sip of his water. 2 Amish boys walk by us. "nice game, guys" one of the boys says, patting jacks shoulder. I roll my eyes. "they're not even wearing sneakers!" tiana says, laughing. I laugh a bit as well. A woman walks by, walking her kid on a leash. "hey, cool! Is that kid on a leash?!" jack asks, excitedly. "that is terrible!" I comment, scrunching my nose is disgust. "hey, yeah that's what I meant" jack corrected himself. Jerry looked at him and smiled. "a kid on a leash. Never ceases to amaze me of the stuff I see some of these parents doing!" the woman next to us comments. "mommy, I'm hungry" her son tells her, running over up her. " oh, would he like a cookie?" I ask the woman. "oh no thanks I got it" she replies. She then begins to breast feed her son! Jack, jerry tiana and i all stare at her, shocked!

"well, there's another park we can't go back to" tiana spoke, as all of us, including the kids walked into the house after we came home from the park. X"I hope she didn't think we were rude" I said, worriedly as tiana and I put sam and Logan into their playpen. "well, we did kind of run to the car" tiana replied. "call me old fashioned, but I think a child is too old to breast feed when he can unhook mommys bra with hand" jack spoke as i walked over to him and Jerry. Tiana laughed a bit. "relax, maybe we didn't see what we thought we saw. Maybe the kid was just a freakishly gigantic 1 year old" jerrympoitned out. "Jerry, when he was done he asked his mother to lay off the Mexican food!" I exclaimed, as I unloaded the backpack that we brough to the park with us. "I mean, the problem with breast feeding that long is, how do you stop? I mean at that point, you gotta do the whole don't worry, we'll still be friends" tiana rants on. "well, yeah that's what most of the books said, right Kim?" jack asked me. "yeah, most of them said a year. Some said a little more, some said a little less, but a year was more than enough for me! I couldn't wait to stop! That's womans a freak!" I ranted, walking into the kitchen.

Jacks pov

"come on, guys! Breast feeding is beautiful! It's nature. It's not like she's committing some crime!" Jerry defends the woman. "you just want to get a free peek at her boobs!" tiana confessed, as she walked into the kitchen. "it's a woman breast feeding. Believe me, there's nothing sexual about that" Jerry shouts to tiana. "did you see them?" he asked me, once tiana was out of the room. "no. The kids head was in the way" I say, as I search through the mail.

I'm lying in bed right now, but something's missing! Kim! I get up out of bed to go and find her. I walk across the hall to Sams room and listen closely. I open the door and sure enough she's in there and she's breast feeding Sam! "don't come in here!" she exclaims. "are you breast feeding?" I ask her, from the doorway. "get out!" she exclaims. "get out!" she snaps. I Clare the door to SAMs room, shocked at what I just saw.

I'm sitting in our bed when Kim walks into our room. She sighs and takes off her pink robe. I look at her weird. She walks over to her side of the bed and climbs in. I smile as she does so. She turns off the light. "is there anything you want to say?" I ask her. She looks up at me. "good night" she replies to me. I turn on the light that's on my side of our bed. "Do you want to talk about this?" I ask her. "about what?" she ask me, turning towards me. "Kim, remember when you were breast feeding Sam and the door opened and this guy walks in and you screamed at him in horror and shame? Hat was me" I told her, laughing at the end. She smiled at me. "I thought I recognized you? Good night" she said, patting my thigh. I looked just sat there shaking my head with this appalled look on my face. "good night" she said, turning away from me. "I just want you to know that I don't think you're a bad mother" I confessed. "what does that mean?!" she asked me, as she sat up, holding our comforter to her chest. "I'm just saying that if you kos, ou wanna keep breast feeding Sammy for a few months, I don't think it nessicarlly means your some sort of freak" I explained to her. Her mouth widenEd in pahock as she sat up more in our Ed. "hmmm, now you're calling me a freak" she observed. "hey, don't turn this around on me. I mean if you thought you were acting so normal, how come when I walked in you shoved my sons head under your nightgown like you were shop lifting s ham" I defended myself. She glared at me then got up out of our bed and made her way to our bathroom. "you just don't understand!" she fought back. "oh come on, Kim! Give me some credit, ok? I do read some of those books you give me. I know how hard it is for a first time mother to stop breast feeding! You're having- you're having trouble separating from your son! I mean you 2 have this precious bond and you're afraid you're severing this intamate connection with your child!" I explain to her.

She walks over the bathroom. "I'm doing it for the boobs, alright!? The boobs!" she shouts, waving her hands in the air. I look at her, shocked. "what?" I question her. She sighs, putting her hands back down at her sides. "I like having big boobs! Big, milk filled boobs!" she confesses, smiling down at her breasts. "and I never had anything like these before and I'm not ready give them back!" she exclaims, walking over to our dresser. I get up out of bed and walk over to her. "come on, Kim! You knew when you got them, they were just rentals !" I exclaimed. "I mean, like that convertible we had on vacation. Yeah, it was fun and exciting, but it's time to get back to our- our dependable, everyday car" I explained to her. Kim turns around and faces me. "which always gets me where I need to go" I mutter. "it's not that easy, jack! I mean, what if for a few days, you had a really big penis?!" she exclaimsm walking around the room. My mouth widens in shock. "what are you saying?!" I question her. She sighs, angrily. "that I've become very attached to them!" she cried, putting her hands on her breasts. "they're fantastic! It's- it's like they have magic powers! Men see them and just go into a trance! I swear, I think that I could robb a bank with these things!" she confesses, smiling proudly. I walk over to her. "when you say big penis, you mean like repulsively big, right?" I ask her. "like circus big!" I add. She smiles. "come on! Admit it! You like these things, too" Kim says, happily. "oh, well, of course I do, but it's just gonna be a little creepy sharing them with my 10 year old son" I replied. She then began to walk away from me, annoyed. "Kim, when I fell in love, I fell in love with the petite, perky Kim. I'm gonna love you no matter what you look like" I told her, rubbing her shoulders. She turns toward me. "what if they never go back to the way they were? They've been through a lot lately" Kim explained to me. "come on! How much can it change?" I asked her. "remember my mother at the beach?" she asked me. I then shook my head, disgustingly. "I am going to love you no matter what you look like" I told her, hugging her. "thank you" she told me.

we then pulled apart from our hug. I sat on our bed with her standing in front of me. "what do you think we should do about this?" I asked her. She sighed. "I guess tomorrow when he wakes up, we can try to give him the bottle" Kim agreed. I nodded. "I think that would be best" I told her. I then kissed her lips softly. "now get in the bed, you little sneak" I told Kim, as I spanked her. She then crawled into bed. I climbed into bed, turned off my light and she wrapped her arms around me. I turned back on the light. "ok, I'm not going to able to sleep. What you say, babe?" I ask he. She shakes her head, laughing and smiling.

Kims pov

"I don't know, Kim. It seems like an awful of of trouble just for bigger jugs" tiana told , pouring cereal into a bowl. I glared at her from the kitchen sink. "I knew you wouldn't understand! You got all the breasts in the family!" I told her. "hey, you want half my chest. Fine, but you're gonna have to take half my butt, too" tiana said, holding her spoon in the air. He then walked over to the table and set down the bowl of cereal next To Jerry. "hey, don't give that away. I like that. You know, if get rid of something, get rid of those feet!" Jerry told tiana, earning a slap on the back of the head from her. "we just wanted some advice about weaning the baby" I said, pouring cereal into my bowl. "oh god! That is gonna be pure hell!" Jerry told me. "why?" I asked him. "I mean that boob is pretty important to him. Mean, think about how much grown men ink about breasts and they don't even get those for breakfast" Jerry explains. I glare at him. Jack then walked over to the table. "wouldnt it be cool if pancakes came out of them?" jack asked, I looked at him, shaking my head and laughing a bit.

"hey, Kim just don't worry about it. Ok, look, it's gonna be a rough couple of nights, but it's not gonna be bad. Trust me" tiana advised me. I nodded, eating my cereal. "yeah, we can do it!" jack told me. "we?!" tiana asked him. "yeah I'm gonna be there. I happen to be the kind of father, who wants to be involved in raising their son" jack explained to tiana, wrappings is arm around her. "were a team!" he said, side hugging me "uh, jack Kim can't be there. You gotta do this alone" tiana told jack.

Jacks pov

But, we're a team" I told tiana, nervously. "why can't she be there? Why cant you be there?" I asked, rapidly. "all the books say its too hard for the child if the mothers still in the room" Kim told me. "yeah, think about it. Would you take a bottle if you get it straight from a tap?" Jerry asked me. Kim and I just stated at him. "well, that's not fair! I had to cut the umbilical cord. I had to witness the the circumcision. Now, I have to rip him away from the thing he loves most?" i exclaimed. Kim looked up at me. "why does the father have all the hard stuff?" I ask. "honey, I passed an entire human being bright my body" Kim pointed out. "yeah, but ..." I start. "stay down, stay down" Kerry says, putting his hand on my right arm. I glared at him.

Kim's pov

It's 11:35 and guess what? SAMs crying! I wake up. "jack!" I say, trying to wake jack up. Won't wake up. "jack!" I say, turning on the light. "what?" he asks me, waking up. "he's crying" I tel him, handing him SAMs bottle.

Jacks pov

"oh yeah. I got him" I say, getting out of our bed and putting on my slippers. I groan, setting the bottle on our dresser and grabbing my bath robe. I put it on. I then grab the bottle and get back into bed. "jack! You have to go in there!" she says, shaking me. "again?" I ask her. "alright, I didn't want to do this, but here come the cold feet!" she says, putting her cold feet on my legs. "whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I'm up! I'm up!" I exclaim, getting out of bed. "still think you should see a doctor about those" I tell her, before leaving the room. "good luck!" I hear her say from our room.

I walk into SAMs room and turn on his light. He's standing up in his crib. "hey Sammy! Look who it is! It's your daddy!" I greet him. He cries. "good to see you, too!" I say, closing the door. "I know youre hungry ! Look what I brought for you! A bottle!" I say. He just cries.

Kim's pov

Im sitting on jacks and my bed listening to the baby monitor. "come on! Don't be like that" I hear jack tell a crying Sam.

Jacks pov

"come on. It's time to take a bottle, big guy" I tell a crying Sam. "big boys don't like boobies!" I tell him. He cries again. "well, yes they do, but not for what you do with them! Well, that's not really true!" I tell him, smiling.

Kim's pov

I over hear jack from the baby monitor, sigh and roll my eyes in disgust!

Jacks pov

"wanna hold it yourself?" I say, handing Sam the baby bottle, but he won't take it. "come here" I tell him, trying to hand him the bottle. "you wanna hold it yourself? Here, come on. Hold the bottle" I tell nine just cries. "come on! that's it! We don't need mommy! This is how big boys do it!" I say, finally getting him to hold the bottle.

Kim's pov

I overhear jack and Sam from the baby monitor and smile. I think we're getting somewhere! Then I here the bottle spill all over jack! I get up off of our bed and rush to SAMs room. "did he throw the bottle?" I ask jack from outside the door. "it's under control. I got it!" jack tells me. "did you wipe the nipple off?" I ask him. He opens the door. "I didn't have to. Most of it got on my stomach" jack tells me. Not you nipple! The nipple on the bottle!" I exclaim. "oh! Yeah! Go back to bed! He's not suppose to see you!" jack tells me. "oh he looks so sad!" I cry, looking at Sam. "Kim, we all look sad! It's 3 am! Go to bed!" jack tells me. I have my hands on my chest in sadness as I look at our son. "he likes the Mozart cd, but-but skip track 1 because the bassoon frightens him" I explain to jack. "do you want to do 'cause ill just go back to bed?" jack asks me. "you know I can't!" I tell jack. "well, leave me alone so I can! The faster you get out of here, the faster itll be done. I dont want to do this night sfter night!" he tells me. I sigh. "youre right. You're right. This to be done tonight. Good night" I give in. "good night!" jack tells me, closing the door to SAMs room. I listen to sams crying against the door for a few minutes before bursting into the room. "you know maybe I should-" I start, but jack cuts me off. "Kim! You're killing me here! He's not supposed to see you!" he tells me. Sam cries. "no, Sammy. It's not mommy. It's some crazy lady in a mommy mask" jack tells sm. "I'll be right back, Sammy" he tells Sam before he walks out of the room with me.

"I'm sorry. I can't listen to him cry!" I confess, as jack closes the door behind us. "I thought this was about the boobs" jack tells me. "so did I, but my son needs me and I can't it!" I shout. "I knowthis is tough, but it's just 1 of those painful parts of being a parent. It's like when Sammy was born and you made me sell my motorcycle" jacme explains to me. "you mean your scooter?" I ask him. "my point is it was hard to part with my motorcycle" jack explains to me. "your scooter" I correct him. "whatever! Just let me do this!" she shouts. "listen, you know you can do it. Just go to the guest house and stay with tiana. " he tells me. "fine" I cave in. "just let me say goodnight to sam" I tell him, barging into SAMs room. I walk over to SAMs crib. "nighty night, Sammy whammy! I say, picking up him in my arms. He stops crying. "mommy loves you and mommy will always be here for my little pumpy-kin" I tell him, kissing his cheek. "oh, yes she will because you are the sweetest, cutest little munchy-kin-" I tell him, but jack interrupts me. "Kim" he tells me, putting his hand on my shoulder. "don't rush me!" I warned jack through gritted teeth, still talking in my baby voice. "goodnight, Sammy" I tell him, kissing his head. "good night" I tell him again, handing him to jack. "hey! Let's do this pal!" jack says, holding sam in his arms. I walk out of the room and close the door behind me.

Jacks pov

"huh? Let's do this" I tell Sam. "here I got an idea. A little Mozart" I say, turning on the radio sitting on his nightstand."oh, the bassoon. Let you calm down and well try this bottle thing again" I say, sitting down the rocking chair with Sam in my arms. "I feel like we're bonding already" I cradle Sam to my chest, who begins to suck on my nipple. "ow! Ow!" I shout, pulling him away from my nipple and facing him in front of me. I look at him then my nipple.

"twinkle, twinkle, little star. How I wonder what you are. Please don't make this night so hard. Take the bottle, little guy. I'm so tired that I could cry. If you will not go to bed, please shoot daddy in his head" I sang to Sam. "Sam, come on! Drink from the bottle! I'm running out of songs!" I told Sam, who cried. "here's another one. ok. Boogie nights. Ain't no doubt. We are here til mornin. Til mornin. Boogie nights! Aint no doubt! Get that party started! Drink from the bottle, big guy. 'cause rubber nipples are somethin' somethin' that rhymes with guy. Gotta drink for daddy" I sing.

Just then, jerry knocks on SAMs door and walks into the room. "hey" he greets me. "what are doing up here?!" I ask him. "I spent an hour and a half getting tiana up to all right, but make it quick and then your wife showed up" Jerry explained to me. "sorry about that"I apologized. "oh, it's alright. If she was really into it, she would have taken her finger out of the book" Jerry told me. "how's it goin'?" he asked me. "how does it look like its going? It's horrible. I mean, youve been through this before. Can you please give me some advice?" I ask him. "well, like what?" Jerry asked me. "like what would make you want a rubber nipple?" I asked him. "well maybe right now if it was part of a larger rubber woman" he told me. "ha, thanks" I said, sarcastically. "come on! Come on! I know you can do this! You can handle it! I know you can! you're a good father! So listen, if it gets really bad and he starts screaming his head off, just remember, I'm right down stairs on the couch. So shut the door" he told me, leaving the room.

Jerrys pov

"nana, I'm living in my brother in laws guest house. Yeah. We probably won't stay here too long. I mean I don't like taking advantage of people, you know. So how's Sweden?" I tell my grandma, who I'm on the phone with. Tiana then walks into the house. "listen, I have to go. So move my night to king 5. No. No. Ent be silly. I'll call you" I say before hanging up. "what are you doing down here?" I ask tiana. "oh, Kims all worked up over there. I came in to get something to quiet her down" she tells me, taking a sip of her wine. "that should drown her out" she tells me. I get up off of the chair and walk over to her. "you know, you amaze me. You got the kids to sleep. Youre helping out your sister. You're taking care of everyone and you know, i know I don't tell this enough, but you're and unreliable woman and I love you" I tell her. "Jerry, I'm not going to have sex with you in their kitchen" she tells me. "hey, I seen you drinking and figured I'd take a shot" I told her. SHe kisses me and goes back to the guest house.

Jack then walks down the stairs. "what's going on?" I asked him. "this is nuts! This is crazy! I've tried everything! Everything! I even offered him $500.00 to take the bottle and he still refuses. He's not being rational" he tells me. "if you give me $250, I'll drink from the bottle and feed him like a mother bird" I tell him. "look, I've got to be up in 2 hours. Well try this in the morning" jack tells me, walking into the kitchen. "whoa, whoa, where you going?" I asked him. "I'm going to get Kim. we'll this another night. I quit" jack gives in. "you cant just quit. Is is a battle of wills with you and your child. You give in now, you know what you're teaching him? That if cries, carries on long enough, he'll get whatever he wants and then my friend, you're no longer that sweet little boys father. Youre his bitch" he tells me, making me laugh. "ok, this is the first of many times, you hae to stick to your guns. Ok? next year, when it's time to toilet him, will he want to do it? No, but you're gonna have to make him like our parents did to us and thank god they did because it's the most important achievement in our lives" Jerry tells me. "I think I've had a lot of accomplishments that rank higher than using the potty" jack tells me. "setting 3 state swimming championships, joining college" I tell Jerry, "i don't care if you disco ered a cure for cancer, in your songs. No ones having lunch with you" Jerry tells me.

Jacks pov

We walk into jack and Kims room. "he want his mommy? Give him his mommyo" Jerry tells me. "what are taking about?" I ask him. "it's not that hard to fool a 1 year old. Dominic still thinks the race track is the horse stables" Jerry told me. He sprayed perfume on me. "it would help if you smelt a lot like Kim" Jerry told me. "Kim doesn't wear perfume at night" I tell him. "why not?" jerry asks me. "'cause she's not a hooker!" I exclaim. "fine, o natural. We can work with that" Jerry, says beginning to dig through Kim's chest. "what are you doing?" I ask him. "looking for something that smells like Kim" Jerry says, digging through the chest. "trust me" he says, smelling a white nightgown. "oh yeah! She's coming on strong on this one!" Jerry says. "give me that!" I say, snatching the nightgown from Jerry. "wrap it around you!" Jerry demands. "what?" I ask him. He sighs. "ok, look. I didn't want to have to admit this, but, um, when I weaned Logan and Dominic, they only way the bottle was if, uh, I dressed up like tiana" he confessed. I smiled and lauded a bit. "what?" I asked him. "I put on tiana's clothes and pretended to be her" he told me. "frst of all, there goes the father/son camping trip. Second of all, no!" I told him. "ok, we'll do it your way. Oh, wait, you don't have a way!" Jerry tells me. I looked down and sigh. "this will never work. I'm only going to do it because I'm completely exhausted. I've obviously lost my mind. Where's the damn neck hole?!" I ramble, putting on the night gown. "just focus on the positve. I think that color looks fabulous on you" Jerry admits to me once I have the nightgown on. I picked up the bottle. "I guess I'm ready for my father son moment!" I say, walking out of kims and my room, with Jerry following behind me.

Sams crying his head off when we enter the room. "Kay, buddy, let's do this" I said. "hold on, you just can't walk in with your breast hanging in your hand like that. You'll traumatize the kid" Jerry tels me. "you gotta put it where it belongs" Jerry tells me, taking the bottle from me. "hold" he tells me, putting it underneath the night gown where my nipple. I sigh. I begin to walk over to Sam, but Kerry stops me. He then plays with the nipple on the bottle. "cut it out!" I shout. He then walks over to Sams crib and picks him up. "it may feel a bit odd" he warns me. "I'll be fine, as long as it works" I tell Jerry, as he latches Sam onto the bottle. "oh my god! He's drinking!" I say, happily as Sam drinks from the bottle. "he's drinking from my breast! My sons drinking from my breast!" I say, happily. "ok, now I feel a little odd" I admit. "I told ya. It's working. Look!" Jerry tells me, walking Sam and I over to SAMs mirror. "me, you and Sammy! We did it!" he says, showing me Sam drinking from my breast. "but stand facing this way, ok?" I say, tuning away frothe mirror. "way to go, buddy. Drink up." I praise Sam. "hey, Sammy" Jerry tells Sam. "I'm proud of you" I tell Sam. "how many nights did you have to dress up like tiana?" I asked Jerry. "jack?" he starts. "you really didn't dress as tiana, did you" I realized. "nope" he tells me, shaking his head.

Kims pov

(the next night)

Im lying bed, but jacks not there. The baby monitors quiet. What's going on? I get up out of bed and walk over to sams room. I open the door. "don't come in here!" jack shouts. "what are you doing?" I asked jack. "nothing! Get out!" he shouted. God, he sounds just like I did! "get out!" he shouts again. I walk out of sams room and close the door behind me.

So what'd think? Thanks for the favorites and the reveiw! Keep them coming! PleaseAt and r! If there's a show you want to see made kickin it style let me know and I'll see what I can do! Please read and review! I'll update soon! Love you all and keep rocking!


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